Review by Rox Burkey
Kathryn Haueisen takes an interesting position on middle-aged women who find themselves at totally loose ends when a marriage of 30 years is over. The questions, concerns, and doubts that Ellie works through requires her friends, family, and faith if she is going to make it. Though this is written as a fictional story the realities of Ellie’s situation will resonate with readers facing similar shifts in their lives. Kathryn teaches that we are not alone.
When the story begins you are immediately consumed with a sense of loss that washes over Ellie, as highlighted for me in this early section.
“Back in the Pre-D days (as she now referred to the years before divorce), she and Chet spent several laughter-filled weekends with Amelia and Thad. Ellie hadn’t seen them since her divorce. She broke the news to them-and everyone else she thought needed to know-in a Christmas letter. Amelia phoned to express her shock, dismay, and sympathy. She offered an open invitation to come see them anytime. The first anniversary minus husband, Ellie cashed in on the invitation. She closed her eyes and traveled back to the memory of that desperate call. Though that happened nearly three years ago, she still sometimes felt ashamed of her desperate fear of being alone.”
The heart wrenching sadness of realizing this woman is three years into her new life and still not free of her feelings of abandonment. Her ex is getting remarried, obviously moving on, but she is struggling to come to grips with believing in herself and those people who are a part of her life.
Like each of us, her path is filled with twists and turns, highs and lows as well as uncertainty for her decisions. Finding her path to security is a very individual effort, but the comprehensive study guide is formatted in a way that would prove helpful for use in community and religious-based discussion groups.
Sadness and grief are a main part of losing anyone who has a major life change, like divorce. Kathryn provides an honest approach to healing and recovering a woman’s sense of self-worth. I highly recommend that friends take care of friends with this as a gift of love.
About the Author
Kathy (Officially Kathryn M.) Haueisen uses her degree in
journalism from Bowling Green State University, combined with decades of
freelance writing, to write about navigating life’s many transitions. Since
becoming a pastor in 1985, she’s served in the Lutheran church community as a
parish pastor, camp director, and capital campaign consultant.
Her published works include articles for magazines and newspapers about family life, travel, history, devotions and fascinating people she meets. She’s published five books and number six in under contract and in production.
She lives and writes from Houston, Texas where she lives with her husband and spoiled rescue poodle. When not writing she’s either traveling, reading, gardening, or spending time with members of her family. She blogs weekly at www.HowWiseThen.com about people doing good things in our global village.